The Bet Malfoy Will Regret
by MoOnIe90
Summary: Malfoy makes a bet that he can win over any girl at Hogwarts. And he does. But what happens when his reputation is in the hands of his newest victim... who just happens to be a mudblood.
1. I HATE MAKEUP!

AUTHORS NOTE- Hola babes and dudes, or as Joey says, "How you doin..." lol, I wrote this story called The Bet a while ago... and it sucked. So I am re doing it and I hope you guysesness like it. Tootles pet.

I am off to the piddly diddly department...don't mind me.

Loves and hugs to all! I am a hippie at heart!

XxX MoOnIe

**DISCLAIMER**- If I owned Harry Potter, does that mean I could own Draco... Muhahaha... I like that idea... But bummers for all, he is not mine, and -Alas!- neither is this all my doing... J.K. Rowling helped me! jk I luv you all

Reputation

Three months. That's all it took... Ok, I lied. Technically, Draco became hot 6 months ago...2 weeks, 7 days, 9 hours... but who's really counting, right. Well, actually every single female at Hogwarts is. Besides Pansy, who always had that odd obsession with him... and padded bras. Ohh and the female teachers, that would be just a little bit...illegal...

Two years... just a tad longer then humanly right. That's how long it took Hermione to change. (Again,2 years, 4 months, 1 week, 8 days, 3 hours.)

Well, not really change, she was the same person with the same reputation. Good girl granger and her books... brainy little one isn't she. But two years, four months, one week, eight days and three hours ago, she decided something. Change is good. And I don't mean change like changing your underwear (Which you should do every day, Boys and Girls!) but change as in... style. A personality that upgraded from a brick wall, a different look, a different Hermione.

Why the hell not right, you only live once... unless your a vampire, because you live after you die.. so is that technically living twice? But if they are living, then they aren't the living dead, they are the living living...but they are dead. You know what, I'm just confusing myself, so I am going to ignore my little voices arguing about in my brainal area, and continue.

It took Hermione the two months (and 4 days) of summer to actually be motivated to become Mione (her alias... like Tater Salad...) It was one of the worst experiences of her life, really. Realizing that Daniel (who is quite an unattractive bloke) broke up with her for Lizzie. Lizzie looked like a man for Merlin's sake! A repulsive man that took a fancy to going commando while wearing a skin-tight mini and a wonder bra.

Why is it that guys go for sluts? What is so attractive about little whores that prance about in disturbingly short outfits, singing that they want to go to the candy shop...they wanna like your lolli pop... (A.N.-no offense Olivia...) But, truth be told, Lizzie was the main reason for her change. Hermione didn't go the the lengths Liz did, but still. Her mother allowed her to get her hair done,( saying it had to do with the "commitment of Ones inner self") Hermione's mom is a real Yoga freak, so anything to do with her daughters spiritual flow wasOK with her.

Hermione became a Veg head (i.e. a vegetarian) and ran around her muggle neighborhood every morning. Her hair was cut to rim her face, but the longer layers reached the middle of her back. It was thinned and colored a darker shade of brown, with auburn highlights bringing out her chocolate eyes.

Draco, on the other hand, did nothing to get such a great outcome. Years of Quidditch did wonders with his coordination, and exercising during Quidditch breaks gave him a very defined look. He did nothing to his hair, it neatly laid on his head, giving her a sexy looks, an his light skin glowed. I don't mean he was dipped in a can of radioactive goop, I mean he was just so...amazing. Everything about him was amazing. But he was also so...bad.

He was most definitely the boy you didn't bring home to mom. Harry Potter was. Harry-fuckin-goody-two-shoes let-me-save-the-little-mudbloods-and-the-rainforest-Potter. Draco was the boy you cheated on Harry with.

All the Malfoys had those penetrating eyes... the charm that could make a Veela swoon... the brains,and of course (Draco's favorite feature) power. Money can buy you friends, thats true, but power makes your friends fear you, want to become you, idolize you. And Draco was exactly that. An Idol. The Hogwarts Sex God. Everyone knew his title, guys wanted his title, half the girls in Hogwarts GAVE him the title.

But they all knew his game. He would date a girl for a week maximum, sleep with her, make her love him...then leave her and sleep with her friends. But, although everyone knew what he was doing, girls would line up at his dorm room, wanting to be mistreated. What the hell was wrong with them, only Merlin knows. Maybe the lack of self respect... maybe they liked being made fun of by the guy they adored, or maybe they were just stupid. Whatever the reason, Malfoy had anything, and anyone, he wanted.

He was every girls fantasy. Malfoy was the guy that would have you orgasm just by looking at you hard enough... He was...

Perfect.

Perfectly bad.

Perfectly pig-headed enough to make a bet that might damage his reputation...

Hermione's POV

"I hate make-up... I hate it more that I hate hair straightners and their evil little heated plates...that burn real bad. Why couldn't make-up be a class at Hogwarts, something I need to figure out." Hermione looked at herself in the mirror, trying to figure out why her blush made her cheeks purple. Her mother glanced at her from the bed, smiling.

"Hun, you just dipped the blush brush in my eye shadow... purple really isn't your color baby..." Her mom giggled.

"I'm glad you find your daughters retardation-ness about make-up funny. Maybe I can go back to Hogwarts 3 weeks late and explain to them why I have tiny little red bumps on my face." Hermione looked hopelessly at the brush in her hand and shot her mom a sad look.

"Darling, the spots are gone, you can't see them. You can go to Hogwarts, three weeks late, and explain to them you were dying with a muggle case called Chicken Pox that gave you purple cheeks, if you want..." Hermione glared at her mother "...Or, you can go wash up, and I'll help you."

Hermione went to the bathroom and cleaned her face on a white towel... bad idea. Hermione might be the cleverest witch at Hogwarts, but common sense was an ability she need to learn quick. Purple smears covered the fluffy towel.

"Oh...shit..." Hermione mumbled. She glanced at her mom, making sure she didn't see the stains, and quickly flipped the towel so the clean side was showing.

"Baby, are you done in there?"

"Yeah Mom..." Hermione looked at the towel, stuck her tongue out at it, and walked into the room.

Her mom sat her down and explained what each of the little bottles did, how to use mascara, etc. Her mom was teaching her how to use liquid eyeliner when the phone rang. Hermione moved to look... bad idea. The liquid brush traced her eye, causing black little swirls to form. Hermione screamed as water dripped from her eye.

"What did you do?"

"I bloody stabbed myself with the eyeliner! Evil little paint thingy..." The black had seeped out of her eye, but it was bloodshot. "Great... mental note to self, don't ever use eyeliner." Her mom looked at her eye, but the phone ran again. Her fathers voice called up the stairs that it was for Hermione.

She looked in the mirror one last time, her mother holding her with her chin propped on Hermione's shoulder.

"You look beautiful baby..."

"Even with one eye lined in black and the other bloodshot?"

Her mom giggled. "Yes dear. You are always beautiful." She smiled at her through the reflection, then handed her the phone.

"Hello? Oh hey Amber! No, I am learning the magic of make-up. No...no...yeah...no. He just liked her better, I guess...yeah...oh I'm sorry to hear about that...yeah, thanks for giving me your chicken pox, I get to go to school late...no...it went away...yeah...NO! GROSS!...hahaha...we should...ok...ok...bye ...ok...ok, bye...Amber, I'm going to hang up...haha...ok...bye babe." -Click-

"What was that about?" Mrs. Granger asked, looking at her daughter place the phone on the receiver.

"She kept on talking so I just hung up. Amber knows I lover her like a sister... but the poor girl can't keep her mouth closed sometime." Hermione's mum raised an eyebrow at her, amazed at her remark. She sat up and walked towards her 17-year-old daughter.

"Herm, you should pack your stuff up, you are going to be leaving really early tomorrow." She kissed Hermione on the cheek, smiled, and walked out.

Hermione glanced at the bag that was already packed at the foot of her bed. She stalked over to her makeup, placed in in a tiny purse and shoved that in her second piece of luggage. The makeup bag broke spilling the evil eye liner and powder brush to the floor.

"Stupid...For merlins sake I HATE Make up!"

And with that she crawled up on her bed, shot the stranded make-up tools on the ground an evil look, and opened up her new favorite book, "Angus, Thongs, and Full-Frontal Snogging."

She could already tell it was going to be a long year...even if it started late for her.

A/N: Ok, I wrote this story 2 years ago,(called The Bet) and I was reading it and realized...wow. I really sucked at this. So I am keeping the plot, but the story has changed so much... Before the chapter alone was 17 sentences long.. now its...decent sized. I hope you like a lot! I welcome any reviews...that are like chocolate. Quite addictive, but reviews are less fattening. So please tell me what you think!

Press the adorable button next to reviews if you love me!

XxX MoOnIe


	2. Victim Number 26

Oh my giddy gosh goodness, I got reviews! Thank you! Muhaha, please enjoy like a porcupine enjoys a back rub, a rare action that sends them over the edge! I'm guessing... I haven't spoken to many porcupines about that lately...

BTW I highly recommend you finding the book

Angus, Thongs and Full Frontal Snogging

Funniest shit I've ever read, to be quite honest. Its a real book, not a fan fic, but trust me. It is worth reading. And so are the sequels...

So, without further ado, (that's a funny word. Ado? Wasn't that the name of the monkey in Aladdin? ) Welcome to part TWO! (hey, I rhymed!)

XxX MoOnIe

**DISCLAIMER**: Must we go through this again?

Victim Number 26

Draco made his way out of bed and towards his wardrobe. He was already late to class so he washed up and pulled a black robe over his red boxers. No one would care if he was half naked, he might actually be praised for it, on the other hand. He gave his reflect a slight smile, liking what he saw. Brushing his blonde hair out of his eyes with his hand, he walked out of his common room with his forest green bag. Since mudblood Granger hasn't been in school to fulfill her duties as Head girl, he had had the entire dorm to himself... and the occasional slut he brought in with him. He looked over his shoulder and grinned as he remembered having sex on that very couch.

He walked out of the room and towards his first class. As he made his way down the corridors, girls looked at him, eyes wide with lust, and some poor second year almost had an asthma attack. Draco knew he was good looking, but he never had a girl use an inhaler when he looked at her. He felt a slight breeze and realized his robe was undone.

Anyone else in that situation would what stopped, blankly stare at their body, slam the robe shut, and scurry off in the other direction. But Malfoys never got embarrassed. Instead, Draco glanced down at his boxers and smiled. He undid the rest of the knot, which allowed everyone to see his beautiful body. Not an ounce of fat on him, he was... amazing. He grabbed each end of the robe and re-did the knot. Mummers and groans passed around as the robe re-hid his nakedly beautiful -ness. The guys gave him a dirty look, each one wishing they could pull that off.

Draco smiled again and continued towards his class. All the girls couldn't take their eyes off him, wishing the robe would disappear...with the boxers.

"No such luck, sorry ladies." He said out loud with a smirk. The girls stopped ogling and finally walked away. A hand grabbed Dracos shoulder and standing next to him was Blaise.

"Nice peep show." Blaise said laughing. Zambini was Dracos only real friend. Crabbe and Goyle were protection and Pansy was his obsessor, but Zambini didn't idolize Malfoy freely like the other Slytherins. If there was anyone Draco almost treated like an equal, it would be him.

"The girls didn't seem to mind." Malfoy replied, just as the bell rang. People began to enter their classes, but the two continued to walk. A tall girl made her way down the hall, but stopped when she noticed Malfoy.

"Draco Malfoy! You...you little whore!" She yelled. The kids that were still in the corridor looked in a shocked silence. The Ravenclaw beauty, Cindie's her name, balled up her fist and stared at him angrily. Draco gave her a silent smile and stopped.

"Why, thank you Cindie. I'd like to say the same for you."

The girl stared daggers at him and continued, "You are so low Malfoy... You told me you loved me, then you slept with my best friend Macy! How could you do that?" Draco laughed inwardly. Oh, Macy...that's right. She was a feisty little one, horrid kisser though. He recalled hitting on her near his room. He was horny as hell and Macy was staring at him, licking her lips. Tempting enough, so he leaned in and kissed her. Merlin, she almost sucked his tongue out, and she kept moving her head from side to side as if eating his face. He would have stopped the session if it hadn't been for his hormones.

"Cindie, my dear. It was quite easy, Its called lying. You know...l-y-i-n-g. Its when you-"

"I know what it is, you asshole! I...I hate you!" She screamed, tears starting in her eyes. Blaise gave her a sad look as one of the tears fell without her having to blink.

"I'm so sorry you feel that way, but listen babe. This was a win-win situation. I had you and your two friends, and you had me. I don't see the losing in that."

Cindie couldn't even talk, so she looked at him for the last time and spit at him. The she walked in the opposite direction. All the wanderers shook their heads and walked to class.

Draco whipped the spit from his robe and looked at Blaise. "Can you believe that's the third time someone did that to me?" He chuckled. He didn't care if he made Cindie cry, he made her scream his name only a week ago. Crying is a part of the fee, so to speak.

"So what number was she?" Blaise asked earnestly, watching the poor girls dirty blonde hair flare out behind her as she walked.

"Well...lets see. I believe she was 26...or 27. But who's really counting?" Draco replied with a bit of accomplishment. He loved toying with girls, it made him feel so... powerful. He could make them do anything he wanted.

"One day some girl is going to come back and kick you in the ass." Blaise replied, smiling at the idea.

"Well than let it be, because I don't go for girls. I go for women- and that's a woman" Draco said, looking at a person that walked by. Her face was covered by her long brown hair, and she was reading something in her hands. A letter, I think. _Holy Merlin... She's a mighty piece of-_

"You mean Granger? Cleans up nicely doesn't she?" Blaise replied.

Draco stopped staring at the girls bare legs and looked at his friend.

"What?"

"Huh?"

"What did you say?" Draco asked, his eyes wide.

"I said Granger cleans up nicely. Just look at her. Nice legs, nice ass, nice rack, bangin body-"

"Whoa...wait. Granger? As in..."

"Hermione Granger."

"WHAT? " Draco couldn't hold in the sudden outburst, which cause the girl to turn around. Hermione Granger it was. But, she looked so much different, so mature. Her body was curvy in all the right places, and her hair was... so not like Granger. Her large eyes were enhanced by the gold eye shadow she put on, and her tan skin was so exotic compared to his creamy complexion. She looked at Draco open mouthed, amazed at his appearance. "Malfoy?" she asked quietly, not loud enough from them to hear. Then she quickly turned back around and hurried off towards her class.

"God, she is ripe for the fuckin, huh Draco. Yeah, she came in during breakfast, almost had every guy on her. She is so innocent that she didn't get they were trying to nail her...oh well. She said she was out because she had Picnic Pox, whatever the bloody hell that is, I dunno." Draco was still in awe, but he got out of it and glanced at his friend.

Blaise smiled at him. "God, what I would do to have one go at her. You gotta tell me how she is when your done."

"What?" Draco was still off in lala land, trying to figure out how Mudblood, good-girl Granger became so... sexy. _MUDBLOODS AREN'T SEXY! _He mentally yelled at himself.

"Well, you're gonna screw her, right. Hmm, I guess not. She's a mudblood, you wouldn't lower your standards for her."

'_You're right, but I sure as hell would lower my pants for her.' _Draco though.

Blaise laughed and continued "I don't think she would go for you anyway. Naw. Virgin Granger and the head Slytherin slut... couldn't happen."

Draco looked at his good friend, a grin starting to spread on his lips. "Oh really, you don't think I could, do you."

Blaise continued to stare at where Hermione once was. "Nope, not after all the times you were a prick to her-"

Draco shot him a look that told him if he continued that sentence, he would pay. "Wanna bet. I could be in her pants before Christmas break." Draco turned to walk.

"You're on."

Draco stopped and turned. Blaise had a satisfied grin on his face.

"30 Galleons says you can't nail Hermione Granger before the end of the year. And no spells! You can't trick her into sex!" Draco smirked and shook his hand.

"Like I'd have to." was all he said, turned and followed Hermione. Blaise shook his head and went to class.

AN: Hey guys and gals, thanks for reading my lil old story, hope you liked, much more to go, I daresay. Enjoy, Thank you, come again.

love to all, including the old members of NSYNC. Without them failing miserably, we would still be in the Boy Band Era-

well, i luv you all, almost as much as 'buttered toast', as Ed would say

XxX MoOnIe


	3. Marco Balfloyd

A/N: Thank you all for reviewing, It makes me smile and dance around like a loon! I hope you enjoy my Chappie... muhahaha chappie, like chap stick...but I mean chapter... but if you want to enjoy my chap stick, go about it!

Ohhh, I received a review telling me my story sounded like a copy of Bookworm and the Beast. As soon as I read that review, I went on a hunt for that fanfic and read it. Sadly, my little reviewer, you are mistaken. Her plot is much better formed, with greater details and all around way better than my ramblings. Why would I make a low key copy of someone else work? The plot held some resemblance, but I can tell you now, mine is going in a different direction.

Not to mention I wrote this story about 2 years ago and I am just revising it. But, to the Author of _"Bookworm and the Beast"... _good job! I'm addicted like chain smoker is to Marlbro Reds!

**DISCLAIMER**: I don't wish to own Harry Potter... Draco Malfoy is a different story all together, though

Marco Balfloyd

Hermione Granger... Lets remember what everyone knows about Hermione. She has bushy brown hair... could probably orgasm by reading Hogwarts, A History... her best friends are the amazingly good-enough-to-eat Harry Potter and the red-headed-tool Ron Weasley... She hates Draco Malfoy, and grilled cheese sandwiches... will probably work in the Order of the Phoenix while the rest of us work at a discount burger joint...

Wow... how wrong are we! Well, except for working at the discount burger joint. Hey man, clothes don't buy themselves...

"Is that Hermione?"

"What did she do to her hair?"

"Damn she's hot..."

"I thought Granger was sick."

"Hey, are you gonna finish your toast?"

Holy cow... this was gonna be a strange year... why do people say Holy Cow? Cows aren't holy, except in India. But... if a cow is Holy, would that make all the other farm animals holy too? Like... why is a cow holy and a goat isn't? That's discrimination...

"I love make-up!" Hermione looked up at Ginny, a full grin covering her mouth. She had arrived about 10 minuets ago, and already people were telling her how different she looked. Harry had his mouth open for what seemed like years, but Ron, on the other hand, swooped her up in a tight hug. Everyone looked so different. Ron had grown about two more inches on his already large height, but he wasn't gangly anymore. His fiery red hair was short and tamed, and his body wasn't bad at all.

His body was ok, like a normal teen who eats everyday, yet has a mighty fast metabalism would. He wasn't fat in the least, but he wasn't all muscled out, yet you couldn't tell because the large hand-me-down cloak covered him. It was too short though, so about 2 inches of his ankles were showing and his wrist. Harry finally smiled and hugged Hermione too.

"I heard you had Chicken Socks!" Ron exclaimed as Harry let her go, beaming at his friend. Hermione giggled and Harry snorted back a laugh, which sounded more like a grunt.

"Its called Chicken Pox, Ron. I was fine a week ago, but my paranoid father wouldn't let me come back till ever single spot was gone! But hey, you guys look great!" Harry looked better in Hermiones eyes, but to everyone else, it was drastic to the normal average Potter. His black hair laid on his head messily, some strands covering his eyes. (normal, right) He had grown and towered 3 inches over Hermione. His green eyes, if possible, were brighter and so addicting to look at. When you spot Harry, you just get a vibe. A good vibe, that he's your knight in shinning armor, and will rescue you from harm.

But since Hermione knew both of them for so long, she could only see a brotherly charm in their looks.

"I remember when I had that. The Dursleys locked me up in that bloody cupboard for weeks so they wouldn't get it. As soon as they let me out I rubbed my face on all their pillows. Bummer really, they never got it."Harry replied, sitting down next to his empty plate. I don't mean empty like he didn't eat, I mean empty as in he swilled everything on it down his throat and into his lean body. It must take those two hours to work off all the damn food they eat.

Ginny was still sitting across from her as they all sat down. Her curly head was sun kissed a softer shade of red, which brought out the freckles that danced on her nose. She was so adorable to Hermione, like the little sister she never had. She had the sweetest little smile with adorable dimples in her cheeks, and her eyes twinkled when she laughed. Actually, her eyes twinkled only when she laughed at something Harry said...

"So Hermione, how was your 3 homework free months?" Harry asked, slabbing another piece of toast with butter. _What a fat ass, _she though, which caused her to grin as she replied.

"Actually Harry, I did have homework. Dumbledore didn't want me to be behind in my studies, so he owled me weekly with my assignments." Hermione sounded pleased with herself, but before Ron could call her a foul name, someone tapped her on the shoulder.

She turned around and was face to face with Professor McGongall. That woman looked so stern, she could make a dementor apologize for attempting to suck the life out of your face. Her hair was pulled back so tight into that little bun, her face looked like it hurt. But something about her stare held some warmth for Hogwarts brightest witch.

"Miss. Granger, it is nice to have you back. I believe you already know you made Head Girl, and received your badge, no?"

"Yes Ma'am." Hermione smiled sweetly up at her teacher. The badge was still in her luggage, but she couldn't wait to pin it to her robe and prance around with it. As a matter of fact, the day Albus Dumbledore sent it to her, she danced around like an absolute loon, showing it to everyone with eyes, including the owl that waited to be sent back. Harry whispered something along the lines of, 'surprise, surprise'

"Good. I have enclosed a map in this envelope that will tell you how to get to your common room. Your password is already chosen by the Head boy, you must ask him for it. I look forward to seeing you in my class again." With that the teacher gave a short nod of appreciation, and walked towards the professors table.

"Good job Hermione!" Ginny squealed, smiling at her. "But... do you know who the head boy is?" Hermione was about to ask who when someone yelled out her name. It was Dean from the opposite end of the Gryffindor table.

"Hermione, is that you?" Hermione nodded, smiling slightly. She loved her new found attention, but hell, who wouldn't. Before the bell rang, telling them to get their asses to class, Hermione was stopped by about 20 guys, some she didn't even know. They all looked at her like she was a human buffet, but that was such a rare action to her that she just took it as friendliness. Hermione didn't feel she changed that much. All she did was style her hair and learned to master make-up. Her boobs were a descent size B, her face was the same, but she had lost weight when she started her vegetarian and jogging faze.

She said good-bye to her friends as she stalked down the hall. The bell rang again and people trekked into their classes."Shit." Hermione stopped and looked at the letter in her hand. She had to go to her room and get her books, so it didn't matter if she was late anyway. She began to walk down the hall when she heard someone yell.

"I...I hate you!" The girl continued, you could her the tears in her voice. Hermione walked faster towards the sound.

"I'm so sorry you feel that way, but listen babe. This was a win-win situation. I had you and your two friends, and you had me. I don't see the losing in that." Said a new voice, this one cold and emotionless. Then something happened, because everyone that was staring shook their heads and continued to class. Hermione heard the girl storm towards her. It was Cindie, who was a Ravenclaw Prefect. Her face was covered by her hands as she hurriedly walked in Hermiones direction.

Hermione reached out for her, dropping the letter, "Cindie, are you OK? What's the matter?" The girl looked at Hermione with sad eyes, tears falling down her face. She shook her head, covered her face with her hands again and mumbled something.

"What?" Hermione pulled her into a hug, but Cindie resisted and looked at her with bloodshot eyes.

"I-I fell in love... don't fall for his tricks. Or he'll get you too." And with that, she shuddered and walked away from the Gryffindor, her head bowed.

Hermione took a deep breath and stared after Cindie, but she was gone. She looked down and saw she had dropped the envelope McGongall gave her. Picking it up, she opened the cream colored parcel that held the Hogwarts crest on the back, and pulled out the weathered parchment.

"Lets see... It says I have to go this way and take a right at the stairs... Great." Hermione walked forward, busily trying to figure out how to get to the common room. She was so preoccupied, she walked right by two people who were talking quietly without even noticing. She didn't hear them use her name, nor the others lusty looks at her bare legs. If only Hermione knew what a skirt does to horny little boys. She only tore her eyes away from the map when she heard the cold voice again, this time yelling.

"WHAT?" What was so familiar about that voice? Something so... wrong?

Hermione glanced behind her, and gasped. The voice! It was ... Cindie loved... he HAD her?...Whoa...That can't be..."Malfoy?" she asked. Before they could answer, she turned and hurried off towards the stairs. Oh...My...God...In the name of farmers tans, Malfoy was hot. Hermione put 2 and 2 together, realizing the importance of Cindies words. She must have slept with Malfoy...("Ewww"...she though..."what a way to catch a case"), then Malfoy made her look ridiculous in front of the school. But... Malfoy? Hermione didn't put it past him, she knew Malfoy was a piece of shit, but that was just beyond cruel.

"Don't fall for it, or he'll get you too..." Hermione repeated Cindies words. "No problem, I see him for what he is... a bouncing little ferret boy glued to daddies ass."

Hermione just couldn't believe his appearance though...he was just... damn. If I'm not being to humble, She would have liked to dip him in a vat of cotton candy and lick it off.

"I wonder how long it took him to finally hit puberty." Hermione chuckled to herself. (6 months, 2 weeks, 7 days, 9 hours... oh wait...was that oratorical?)

Following the directions, which was a bitch to do because she had to go up to the third floor and the stairs decided to be an asshole and move. Finally she was outside a large tapestry of a redwood forest. It looked so peaceful, that she stared at it without moving. Ferns and green plant she didn't recognize covered the tapestry, and a bush of purple and pink flowers freckled the ground. Little tiny fairies began to dance on the purple petals, their tiny bodies moving to the invisible harmony the wind gave them as it blew from tree to tree. One of the fairies saw Hermione and flew from the flower toward her.

"Welcome. Password please." The tiny woman was beautiful. Her hair was an iridescent shade of Green, her large eyes were emerald colored and mysterious, but also so sweet and charming. Her thin legs looked as if she were a ballerina, and her large wings expanded from either side of her. She was wearing a little dress made form baby rose petals and red streaked her wings and hair with little red swirl on her arms. She was without a doubt, beautiful.

"Ma'am, password please." She repeated, getting anxious to hear it.

"Err..." Damn it, she didn't know what it was. She glanced at the paper again, but it didn't even mention the password. "I... I don't know it. But I swear I am suppose-"

"I can't let you enter without the password, sorry. Why don't you ask that hunky blonde that comes in here?" The other fairies giggled, placing their long fingers over their mouths.

"Who? Oh the Head Boy... do you know who it is? Maybe he can give me the password!"

"Oh yes, he's a dishy one really. He comes in sometime with a lady friend. Sometimes two. I believe his name is..." The fairy looked thoughtful, then excited. "Marco! Marco Balfloyd!"

"Marco? I don't know a Marco...Oh...you mean Draco Malfoy!" Hermione said, pleased she figured it out...then she understood what she said, and her face fell. "Malfoy...I have to share a dorm with Malfoy...?"

"That's the ticket! But don't forget the lady friends!" The fairy smiled and spun around in mid air. The other fairies laughed and began dancing again.

"Wow... what luck I have. Thank you Merlin for really looking out for me... you bearded bastard..." Hermione mumbled. Well, if Draco got to choose the password, its probably something really egotistical.

"Um... Draco the wonderful?" The fairy laughed and shook her head.

"Try again Dear."

"Slytherins ...er...are the...best?"

"Hahaha, sorry."

"Gryffindors suck?"

"Again, no. My, we are on a roll, aren't we?" The fairy was sitting on the leaf, her long legs kicking back and forth.

"Er... Draco Malfoy is... sexy?" The fairy giggled as a new voice answered.

"Wow, Granger. You really think so?" Malfoys breath hit the back of her neck, causing her to shudder, but only slightly. It was enough for Draco to see, though. Hermione groaned and spun around to look at him and tell him off. As she turned she caught his eyes.

His powerful steel-colored eyes connected to her caramel ones, as if he could see through her. His lips turned to a smirk as he saw her eyes trail over his face. He was completely... amazing. His skin was clear and light, but not really pale. His lips were so tempting, and his bleached hair hung over his eye.

"Malfoy, it's rude to stare." Hermione sneered.

"Really, Granger. Then you're manners aren't any better then mine." Malfoy's smirk grew as a light blush trailed across her cheeks.

'God, he is such an annoying prat.' She thought. "Malfoy, stop being a callous and tell me what the password is! I was trying to guess something you would say, you chauvinist pig." Malfoy took a step closer to her, their bodies almost touching. He bent down towards her face slowly, Hermione's eyes grew, but she didn't move. 'What is he doing?' She was tempted to grab his face and kiss the hell out of him, but this was Malfoy we were talking about, remember.

His lips brushed her ear as he replied,"Then, get out of my way." He smiled as she closed her mouth, looking frustrated. She moved to the side and Draco walked right up to the tapestry. The fairy flew up and giggled, looking at Malfoy.

"Evening ladies." He smiled at the fairy, causing it to sigh and fall on the flower.

"Hello Draco..." The fairies said in unison. Then a punked out purple one flew towards him, her hair was in a violet mohawk and her outfit was made with lilac petals. "Password, please."

"Open up."

"Access granted." The fairy beamed as the tapestry moved to the side.

"Open up? well that's the most ridiculous password I've ever heard!"

"Actually, a more absurd password would be open _sesame_." He replied, smirking down at her. She didn't take notice to his imprudent comment and continued.

"I figured it would be like Malfoy the Magnificent, seeing how you can't get enough of yourself. I'm amazed you haven't glued a mirror to your wrist so you can jack off to your reflection." Hermione retorted, unable to hide her amused look. Malfoy shot her a insipid glare, but ignored her quick comeback. The fairies all gasped at her comment and gave her spiteful looks.

"Malfoy the magnificent... I like that Granger." Then to the fairies, he continued. "I would like to change the password to 'Malfoy the Magnificent.'" The fairies expressions changed and they started that irritating giggling they always do when he spoke.

"Allowed!" Yelled a fairy with a golden up-do, her eyes yellow and catlike. Draco smirked again and turned towards Hermione.

"Do you think you can remember that? Ok, say it with me... Malfoy...The...Magnificent."

"Malfoy, get your head out of you ass." Hermione replied, shooting him a dirty look. She pushed him out of the way and walked into the common room.

"No, you said it wrong, Granger." But she was already in the dorm. Draco looked after her, amazed at how much of an attitude she had. A grin began to form again as he thought, "Wow, this is going to be fun..."

A/N: Hello dears! I am pleased to see you all again, I hope you like my little turn of events... not like you couldn't see it coming.

My gosh, I am a horrid speller, thank god for spellchecker.

Well I love you all to bits, but I must start writing the next chappie.

Good night, and may your dreams somehow involve Johnny Depp.

XxX MoOnIe


	4. Red Door, Green Door

A/N: Hola Ladies and Gummy worms, Nice to see you this fine day, or night. Thank you for the reviews, I love them as much as Ice cream after a breakup.

Half baked ice cream, if you must now. Gods own gift to humanity.

That and the eyelash curler.

Oh, by the way... if you haven't seen Napoleon Dynamite... you won't get some jokes in the middle... and I highly recommend that too! It's so retarded, you can't help but laugh!

Enjoy darlings!

**DISCLAIMER**: Really, dear, must I write it again. I do not own Harry Potter, nor a car. But I do own a pair of hand-me-down bell bottoms from the 70's.

Red door, Green door

Name:

Draco Malfoy

Age: 17

Occupation: Slytherin King

AKA- Hogwarts Sex God

Latest Goal:

Learning Latin, Beating Potter at Quidditch,

and nailing his best friend (no, I don't mean Ron)

Name:

Hermione Granger

Age: 17

Occupation: Gryffindor Princess

AKA- Hogwarts Cleverest Witch

Latest Goal:

N.E.W.T.S., Learning how to master eyeliner

and hormones

Let the games begin...

Draco followed Hermione into the Common room and almost ran into her. She stopped right in the middle of the doorway, her eyes wide, admiring the common room.

The walls were a lush shade of green, and were manipulated to resemble the same forest in the tapestry. Red oaks towered above them on the walls, and the purple and pink flowers swayed in the un-felt breeze. Hermione placed her hand to touch one of the golden daisy's near a Brooke, but her fingers only grazed the cold wall. The ceiling was enchanted almost like the Great Halls, except you could see the tops of the trees, and the suns light hitting fallen dust resembled glitter, declining from the heavens. There were no fairies, but a deer was almost hidden from view by a small black berry bush. The carpet was soft to the touch and there were 2 large couches near the fireplace. One couch was burgundy with gold trim, the other green with silver trim. Slytherin and Gryffindor. A small coffee table separated them, holding four large dust books on top of each other. Two winding stair erupted from either side of the fireplace, and at the top was their rooms.

"Not half bad, huh Granger." Malfoy looked around. He didn't care about the walls, but the girls he brought in had the same reaction Hermione did. They would giggle like a bunch of loons and admire the plaster._ Its only a bunch of trees, get over it_. Hermione jumped, forgetting he was there. She slowly looked around again, then walked towards the stairs.

"Malfoy, shouldn't you be in class?" Hermione asked, not turning around. She placed her hand on the cold steel of the stair case and took a step onto it.

"Well, yes. But so should you." He replied, making his way onto the green couch. Sitting down he kicked his feet up onto the small round coffee table, knocking the books off.

"_I _have a reason to be here. You, on the other hand, don't have an excuse." She said coolly, turning at the sound of the large books hitting the ground. He smirked at her and replied, getting up.

"No, Granger, I have a reason too. McGongall saw me and told me to go and change before she took points from Slytherin. Seeing how I am Head Boy, I couldn't have that." He lied quickly, making his way behind her on the stairs, not breaking their stare.

Hermione eyed his robe. "What's wrong with your outfit?"

"Nothing, besides the fact I'm not wearing one." With that he undid the robe slowly, revealing his chest. Hermione's mouth fell slightly as she looked at his body. You should probably wash clothes on his stomach! Covetousness almost got the better of her, but she broke her stare from his body and made her way at the top of the stairs. There was a little hall that led to the other staircase, and a green door. She walked towards it, reaching for the handle.

"Granger." Draco sounded amused, covering up his flesh once more with the robe. "Please step away from my door. I know you would like to come into my room while I change, but not today I'm afraid." Hermione pulled her hand away from the knob.

She shot Draco a nasty look and walked down the hall to her room, but not before she replied, "Not even in your wet dreams, Malfoy."

Draco snickered at the comment. _My what a wicked little tongue she has, but we'll see about that._ He watched her walk away, his eyes scanning her legs again. He always had a fetish with legs, muscular ones with defined calves. Hermione's were in perfect condition (thanks to her jogging) and she was somewhat graceful. She placed her outstretched hand on the knob of her maroon door.

_What a little prat. God Hermione, of course that was his room. Green... Slytherin. Red...Gryffindor! Idiot..._ She wouldn't know common sense if it were to hit her in the face, and then introduce itself.

Before she walked into her room, there was another door that caught her eye. This one was white.

_White... er... Oh, the bathroom. _(Good job Hermione! We are so proud of you.)

She walked into her room and gasped. It was... empty. Only her luggage bags sat in the middle of the hard wood floor. She figured her room would be beautiful like the common room. "What the..."

"You have to imagine it."

"Thank you for the unwanted help. You know what Malfoy, you should try and make a career out of that." Draco smirked at her from her door way. He was leaning against the frame wearing... (damn it)... his school uniform. (I personally believe it should be illegal for him to wear clothes... It's a fire hazard. C'mon guys, I am only looking out for his safety! Gosh.)

"Jeesh Hermione. I was just trying to help."

"Well, I don't need your- wait. You... you called me Hermione. What happened to mudblood? Or Granger?" She gave him a baffled look, her arms crossed and her eyebrow arched.

"I haven't called you mudblood since you've been here." _Mudblood mudblood, stupid little giddy mudblood_, "I figured, hell, if we have to share a common room... we should try to find some... common ground." _Like my bed for instance._

"Just because we have to live near each other, doesn't mean we have to like it, or each other. And I am perfectly contempt with that. Good day, **_Malfoy_**." She said his last name venomously, then she shut the door in his face.

Hermione walked to the center of the room and stared at the blank walls. The only thing out of place were two large French doors. She looked out them and saw, with her delight, a balcony that overlooked the lake. Before she walked onto it, she closed her eyes and imagined her room. She wanted something... girly. But different.

_Walls... blue. No, purple. Purple with white polka dots!_

_Carpet... White. ...A red oak dresser, with a matching wardrobe, king sized bed, an end table, a book shelf, a desk and...I want white sheets with purple polka dots...Hmm... white curtains, a white vanity table with all my evil makeup already in it... oh, and I definitely want a television on the end table._

Hermione felt like the ground was moving underneath her, so she opened her eyes to catch her balance. She stood there, gaping, amazed at what she saw. The room looked just what she had imagined! It was gorgeous! The only thing missing was the T.V. She looked at the oak end table, but all it held was her knap sack.

_That's right... Anything electrical doesn't work right here... Thanks again Merlin..._

Her vanity table was set aside next to the balconies giant window-doors. They were open and a soft breeze cause her curtains to swarm around her. Her bags were inside her open wardrobe, which held all of her robes pre-hung on coat hangers. Her clothes were in the dresser, which stood next to her bed. Her shelf contained her school books that she bought in Diagon Alley, and roles of parchment and quills sat in a neat pile on her dresser.

Hermione smiled and stepped out into the sunlight. She walked towards the edge and looked at the pond. The sun danced on the surface of the murky water, making it shine like gold. A slight wind brought the sweet smell of pine to her nose, along with a fragrance she never smelled before. It was like breathing candy. The breeze swept Hermiones hair back behind her, and she closed her eyes. It was so peaceful out here, she may even do her homework on this balcony, if the weather stays this nice._ I feel like I am flying. Wow, that was extremely cheesy. _But she kept her eyes closed and spun around, like the fairy had done. She felt so beautiful right then, that she continued to sway to the wind, dancing to the silent melody of the water hitting the shore.

Draco couldn't tear his eyes away, mainly because he was confused as hell. What in the name of ultra-sensitive condoms was Granger doing, anyhow? She was dancing like an idiot on her balcony, a stupid grin on her face. Her eyes were shut as she continued to move. Her red shirt gently rose up as she brought her arms into the air, revealing her toned stomach. Her long legs danced about as she swayed.

Although Draco thought she looked ridiculous, it was almost... angelic. The sunlight streamed over her, causing the auburn in her hair to come out like the first rose after winter. It was enchanting, watching her. He stepped onto his own veranda silently, sitting on the edge. Hermione didn't even know how close he was, their balconies only a few feet away from each others. He continued to stare, un-blinkingly. She didn't open her eyes. What was it about her that drew him here? Not once had he stepped out into the sunlight on that balcony, he liked to stay in his cold room. But, he had to see her, he had to touch her. Without knowing, or caring, what he was doing, he leapt the three feet that disconnected their balconies.

She didn't notice his staring at her, she didn't notice the change in the wind and she didn't notice she had a dance partner as his hands slid down to her waist. Hell, she probably wouldn't have noticed if a nuclear bomb were to explode in her knickers... ok, maybe she would notice that one.

She though it was a dream, really, sheer bliss. She placed her arms around herself, so each of her hand laid on top of his own. She moved her body to the rhythm the wind created, her head slightly turned. Draco couldn't take this, it was to tempting. He pulled her close to him and lowered his face and gently kissed her neck. This Hermione did notice this. She stopped moving, shocked at what was happening. Draco's kisses became harder, gently nipping her sensitive skin. He was taking all this in, feeling her, tasting her. He trailed to her ear and nibbled at her lobe, has arms wrapped around her stomach, pulling her in as close as possible. Hermione took a deep breath, this was new to her.

She felt a small tingling sesation overtake her body, and a small moan was held in her throat, but she bit it back. It felt too glorious...sinfully enthralling. But...

_Wait a minuet..._

_Holy shit..._

_Malfoy? _

_Why the bloody hell is Malfoy kissing me? Why does it...god...feel so ...NO! Get off me you fool!_

"Get off me you fool!" Whoa, daja-vu.

Draco pulled off her reluctantly, and she spun around to face him, her mouth in a frown and her eyebrows pushed together. "What the hell do you think you're doing?" Draco's lips were still pursed, he looked shocked.

For the first time in his whole life, Draco Malfoy was speechless. Never had he been told to stop kissing a girl, nor did the girl reject him. He did the rejecting! _Who the hell does Granger think she is?_

"You didn't seem to mind." He replied, raising an eyebrow.

"Well, guess what asshole, I do mind. And why are you on my balcony? Did you come in my room?" She was now screaming, trying to cover up the fact she had enjoyed the kiss.

Draco gave her a sneer and pointed at his own balcony. "Why would I want to go through your lame ass room, Mu- Granger." He almost dropped the M-bomb.

_No, Draco, you have to win her over. Calling her a mudblood won't exactly earn you a invitation to her pants._

Hermione rolled her eyes and wiped her neck. "Thanks for getting my face all wet, you drool like a damn dog." This made Malfoy pissed, but Hermione found it rather amusing to watch him get infuriated, so she didn't care.

"It's called kissing Granger. Oh, that's right, you've never been kissed, so you wouldn't know what it is." He smirked at her as her grin fell, being replaced with a stern look.

"Not that my personal life is any of your business, but I have to been kissed."

"Krum doesn't count."

_Damn it!_

"And why not?"

"Because that moron was your little boyfriend, and probably asked before he kissed you. I'm not talking about little pansy ass pecks, Hermione, I mean a real kiss."

_Double Damn!_

"Well, I have been kissed. Really." Draco sent her a look, he didn't believe her. Hell, Hermione didn't even believe her own lie.

"Really... Was it any good? I heard Weasley wasn't that great..."

"I'm not talking about Ron! He's like my brother!"

"So you are into incest..."

"You're disgusting, please leave." Hermione pointed towards his balcony.

"No, tell me Granger. Who really kissed you?" He stalked closer to her, she sneered at him.

"It is none of your business." She replied, crossing her arms over her chest. He walked closer, in fact he was so close to her that she had to look up to see his eyes. he snaked one arm around her waist and pulled her body next to his. She placed her hands on his chest, as if to push him off.

_Oh Merlin... please don't kiss me... I can't be doing this..._

"You're a bad liar."

"Yeah, well... " _Triple damn! Why can't I think of anything to say? _

"Your mom!" _I did not just say that... I did not just say that... Merlin please tell me I didn't not use a lame ass comeback from Napoleon Dynamite! I am going to kill Amber, she was the one that made me watch it!_

"What?" Draco's charming smile was replace with perplexed sneer. "My mom what?"

Hermione smiled slightly and let out a small giggle. "...Goes to college." She couldn't hold it in and busted out laughing right in his face. Malfoy took a step back and stared at the girl who was now wiping away tears. Her face was completely overtaken by a huge grin and she was laughing so hard she couldn't breathe. When she finally put herself together, she took one look at Draco's bemused face and started laughing all over again.

"Granger, what is so damn funny?" More laughter from the brunette.

"You...you...hahahaha...god Malfoy...you wouldn't get it...hahaha college!...In order to understand...you ...hahaha...have to have a sense of humor...huhhhhh...seeing that you don't have emotions, you would find it quite hard to see why it's so funny... momgoestocollege... uhhhh god...that was good..." The blonde raised an eyebrow at her.

"I think you are just trying to avoid the question." Before Hermione could regain herself, Draco's arm found its way around her waist once more.

"Hmmm... what question?"

"Who really kissed you Granger?" Hermiones cheeks, which were already red from laughing, turned unmistakably darker.

"Well...err...wait. What's with the new found interest in my love life Malfoy. Shouldn't you be worrying about your own hormonal actions?"

"Well, maybe this is a part of my 'hormonal actions' as you so kindly put it."

"I don't see how **_I_** have anything to do with you or your hormones. And you will see it fit that you never place those words together again." Draco gave her his trademark smirk.

"Why not Granger, you know you want to be my next notch on my bedpost. But first we will have to see how you kiss..." With that he swooped down, yet before he could even graze her lips, Hermione pulled away, her eyes wide.

Malfoy smirked down at her, but it disappeared when Hermiones hand shot up and slapped him across the face.

"God Malfoy! Don't kiss me! Don't touch me! Don't even look at me! You do this to every girl at this school!" she screamed, amazed at how close she had come to letting him kiss her.

"No I haven't!" Which was true. _Not EVERY girl...yet._

"Don't lie to me! God, you can't ever change, can you? I'm not like the whores you've had, you can't just kiss me and expect me to swoon and say 'Of Draky, please, please kiss me again, lets have sex, then you can devastate me and sleep with my best friends!'"

"Well, that won't happen in your case! Mainly because your best friends are Potty and the Weasel." _Stop Draco, your flushing you chances..._

"Ugh, your such a..."

"Such a what?"

"Such a...a Malfoy!" She yelled, then she pushed her way past him and walked into her room. He stood in the middle of her balcony looking after her. She re-emerged, this time with her backpack flung over her shoulder.

"And what the fuck did you do to Cindie?"

"Well, if you rearrange those words, you'll get it." Hermione was silent, so he did it for her.

"And what did fucking Cindie do to you? Well, thank you for asking Granger, it didn't do much but boost my ego." _SHUT UP DRACO! You are never going to score if you keep doing that!_

"You-disgust-me." She spit out through clenched teeth, then she turned and left. The bell rang to go to their second class. Draco just smirked and took a detour through her room to get to his. He grabbed his stuff and left.

_Good going Draco... maybe you can call her a mudblood bitch and hit her in the head with a broom stick while you're at it! That's the way to a girls heart. Dumbass..._

A/N: Muhahaha Hermione is one lucky babe, lmao

Well, ginger snaps to all my reviewers! Giver yourself a round of applause.

Thank you sooooo much, I got oodles of reviews and almost gagged! You guys like the fact I ramble on... that's new... usually I get yelled at for changing the subject so often!

Why didn't the colored ketchup idea ever take off? I myself enjoy eating a green-gooey substance smeared all over my hotdogs. muhahaha that is something I call revolting.

Whoop whoop, well I must be off to write Ch. 5, I have no idea what it is going to be about... Yay! That means we will both be surprised!

I luv you all more than typing, itself!

XxX MoOnIe


	5. Worms Gone WILD!

A/N: Ok dears, shun me! I have done the worst... I have not updated in like, 4 months! I know you are hoping to read something worth the wait, but I am giving you a lame excuse for a chapter. But I apologize sincerely and love you all.

And love is a battlefeild, so you better understand that I mean it when I say it.

Well, my little woodpecker freakes...I hope you don't hate me for ever! Enjoy...!

**DISCLAIMER: **Harry Potter doesn't belong to me. You know this because, if it were mine, you'd have to wait about 7 years for me to write ONE STINKIN CHAPTER! Well, i hope you like it, love.

"Well, Professor McGongall, when an animagus changes into their animal form, it causes their muscles, organs, bones and blood supply to be manipulated as well. For instance, when someone turns into a smaller creature, their bones and organs must shrink to that cretin size, and vise versa. The only reason Jeremiah Gorinskie, one of the greatest and well- know animagus, died, was when he turned into his human form, his blood supply stayed as it would when he was a phoenix. As soon as he fully regenerated, he died, his heart only pumping that small amount of blood." _Oh yeah, in your eye Merlin_!

Hermione sat back down in her chair with a very satisfied smile on her face. McGongall beamed up at her, then turned towards the rest of the class. Hermione looked over at Harry and Ron and grinned, but Harry looked at her and pointed to the door.

"Very good Ms. Granger. 20 points to Gryffindor." The other Gryffindors smiled and silently praised Hermione with a nod. Harry sighed and made a very elaborate cough into his hand, still looking at Hermione. She sent him a confused look, but nodded to make him happy. Before McGongall asked the next question on Jeremiah Gorinskie's short life, the doors open. As quick as you could say _quadruple damn _Hermiones face fell. Snape stalked in like he owned the world. He didn't even excuse himself for interrupting the class, but instead glared over the students till his eyes met Hermiones.

"Professor Snape, is there a purpose to your visit?" McGongall asked sharply, not trying to hid her annoyance.

"Yes, Ms. Granger missed my class this morning and Mr. Potter said she was in the hospital wing, but I can see otherwise. Ms. Granger looks very healthy to me, so both you and Potter will be receiving detentions." Hermione finally understood the coughing gesture Harry had made. She was suppose to act sick so she wouldn't get into trouble. _Stupid Hermione!_

"Professor Snape that isn't-"

"Mr. Potter, I do not care to hear your explanations, lying to a teacher is bad enough, back talking will only bring you more punishments. Now Granger, why did you miss my class."

"Really, Professor Snape, I have a class to teach. If you must yell at my students, do it in the hall or when they aren't in a class being prepared for the real world!"

"My apologies." He replied, very calmly, not sounding the least but sorry. "Potter, Granger, follow me."

The next thing she knew, she and Harry were in the empty corridor, Snape glaring at them.

"Ms. Granger, I will ask you again, why did you miss my class." Hermione looked down and started play with the frayed ends of her sleeve.

"Well, Professor, I had to go to my room and get my bo-"

"It took you all period to get your supplies? Or were you up to something...else." The teachers lips curled up into a wicked smile as he looked at the two Gryffindors.

"No, sir. I just got a little... side tracked..."

"And pray tell us, what had you side tracked so long you couldn't come to class?"

"Well...er..."

"Malfoy was missing too!" Snape stared daggers at Potter, who had just thrown this in his face. "Why isn't Malfoy getting det-"

"Potter, you will do well to not question my authority. Mr. Malfoy is none of your concern."

"But why is it that he can skip and-"

"MR. POTTER! You have just given yourself another detention." Harrys face fell. "And 20 points from Gryffindor." Hermione looked at the ground. "Go back to class. You will report to my room at 8:00 tonight to receive your detentions."

And with that, Snape turned and walked down the corridor back to his class, his cloak billowing out behind him as he stalked away.

"I just got those 20 points..." Hermione mumbled. Harry looked at her, his eyebrow raised.

"Why _were _you gone all period? And Malfoy too." Hermione blushed slightly, but she opened the door to the Transfiguration class.

"I told you already... I got a little side tracked."

"Yeah, side tracked my ass Hermione." Harry replied, following the girl into the room.

...The Common Room...

"The moons gentle light

Sways the beast in us all,

Pray be calm, my child,

Love shall never fall.

No matter the face

Of the form you are

I shall love thee

No matter how far.

Truth in the night,

Beauty in you eyes,

I shall set you apart

Of the suns golden lies.

So arrive at the dusk

Stay till the dawn

Be with me, my love

Keep our sacred bond."

"Ginny... that was brilliant!" Hermione couldn't help but stare as the girl folded up the paper and placed it back in her pocket. Ginny smiled, pleased Hermione liked her poem.

"It's nothing really..."

"No, Ginny, you have a talent! You put so much emotion in that! I... I want to go out and find my prince charming now!" Ginny giggled, her eyes sparkling.

"I wrote it for... well... ever since I met Harry, I couldn't really describe how I felt... How being with him felt. It sounds dreadfully silly, but... I dunno."

"But, Ginny, who do you write about the night? And his form?" Ginny shrugged slightly.

"Its nothing really I can explain. He is so open to me in the night. Not sexually." She blushed. "But, he tells me everything and I do the same. He is like... a part of me I never had, but never knew existed."

Hermione stared at the young girl. How could that little thing hold so many emotions and love, why is she so open to it all?

"Do you really love him?"

Without any hesitation Ginny replied, "Yes."

Hermione smiled softly, but she was completely jealous. Ginny loved Harry, and Harry obviously loved her back. She was happy for them, but also... she wanted that. She wanted to be needed, be someone's happiness.

"Ohhh, sorry. You wanted to speak to me, and I am over here being a drama queen. What was it you wanted to talk to me about?"

Hermione looked around, even though the Gryffindor common room was empty, she didn't want to say it here. Someone might hear.

"Come with me, I can't say it right now."

"Oooohhh a big secret!" Ginny laughed. Hermione rolled her eyes, but walked out of the room, and into the corridor.

Ginny trailed down the hall after Hermione, up 2 flights of stairs and down another dark hallway. Finally, they were outside the tapestry. Ginny looked at it closely, her eyes wide.

"This is so beautiful! I feel like in am in a forest!"

"Wait till you see the room." Hermione replied. The fairies heard the familiar voice and flew from the bushes. Ginny was in awe as golden one flew closer.

"Password please." She said in a voice coated in sugar. Hermione groaned and mumbled, "Malfoy the magnificent."

Ginny took her eyes away from the fairy and looked at her, a sly grin on her face. "That's your password?"

"He picked it out, not me."

"Well, why don't you change it?" That though had never really occurred to Hermione. Ginny saw her delighted expression and laughed again.

"Ummm, I would like to change the password to..." Hermione looked thoughtful... _what should I change it to?_

"To... er..."

"Hermione Granger, the sexiest bitch ever!" Ginny exclaimed suddenly. The fairy looked at her with an odd expression, but nodded.

"Accepted."

"GINNY!" But the young Weasley had already clamored inside.

Ginny did the EXACT same thing Hermione had done previously that day. She stood and admired the walls, her eyes nearly popping out of her head. After gawking at the room for some time, they made their way into Hermiones sanctuary. (A.K.A. Her very purple and white bedroom!)

"I still can't believe you changed my password to that!"

"Oh C'mon Mione, it was funny!"

"Yes, but now Malfoy won't be able to come into the common room."

"You say that like it's a bad thing." Ginny smiled, sitting on her bed. "Oh my god! Is that a balcony? Oh wow!" Ginny ran over to the French doors and walked into the dim light. It was 6:00 and the moon was making an early appearance.

"Yeah...Ginny listen-"

"Wow, it overlooks the lake and everything!"

"Yeah, that's great, but-"

"I'm sure you could see the giant squid and the guppies!"

"Fascinating, but-"

"Oh, Hermione look! Its Hagrid! HEY HAGRID!" Ginny bellowed, waving her arms around in a giant windmill motion.

"Ginny! Malfoy tried to kiss me!" Ginnys arms fell to her sides, and she turned around slowly, her face covered by a huge "O" of amazment.

"Malfoy? Draco Malfoy? Who calls you the M-word, hates muggle borns, and has sex like a stoned test bunny? Damn Hermione, how was it?"

"What? No, he didn't actually kiss me...on the mouth..."

"Well than where did he kiss you... or will this ruin my outlook on you forever?" Ginny asked her eyes drifting down to the edge of Hermiones skirt.

"Goodness no Ginny, you sick little creature! He kissed my neck."

Ginny giggled. "Really..."

"But... I mean... This is Malfoy we are talking about. Why would he even want to touch me."

"Well lets think Hermione!" Ginny said sarcastically. Mione didn't understand, so Ginny continued. "Listen, babe, you've changed. You are taller, thinner, and look really, really good. Your hair, your teeth, your make-up. Every guy I know thinks you're a total BILF." Hermione laughed.

"A what?" Hermione asked, raising her eyebrow at the 16-year-old.

"A BILF. Bookworm I'd Like To-"

"What? Merlin sakes Ginny, your head must be glued in a gutter!"

"Hermione, I'm being serious. Knowing Draco, he probably wants to be the first to get his hands on you." Hermione looked at herself. She hadn't changed that much... ok, I lied. She did look amazing, but not in her eyes. To her, she looked like the same person she was in first year.

Ginny cocked an eyebrow and smiled. "Its not a bad thing, Hermione. This could be great for your reputation. Having the school playboy obsessed with you is every girls fantasy!"

"Ginny! He is not obsessed with me, he is just an average male trying to put his penis into anything that moves." Ginny laughed as they made their way back into her room. Hermione sat at her vanity while Ginny fell onto the bed with an exaggerated sigh.

"Hmmm..."

"Hmmm what?"

"Huh?'

"What was with the hmmm"

"I haven't the slightest idea what you're talking about."

"Yes you do, you went hmmm."

"Hmmm?"

"Exactally!"

"Huh?"

"What?"

"Hermione I'm confused!" Ginny laughed, her little game was starting to annoy Hermione.

"Right Gin... listen, I have to go do patrol when Malfoy comes back, then I have detention, so maybe-."

"Ohh sounds like fun."

"Yeah, almost as fun as being dismembered."

Ginny rolled off the bed and landed on the ground with a thump. Hermione looked at her friend with a slight smile on her face as she rolled around on the floor. "What in bloody hell are you doing?"

"I'm pretending to be a worm."

"What?"

"A worm. I figured worms move under the ground like this... and it kinda feels good on your back.'" as she continued to roll around, her red curls fell over her face.

"Really... Ginny... are you mixing medications?" Ginny stoped rolling and laughed.

"Hermione, it's fun! Just come down here and do it, I promise you'll laugh!"

"Absolutely not!" Hermione responded sticking her nose in the air, mimicking Lavenders I'm to good for that look.

"Hermione, get your size one ass down here!" Ginny continued to roll again, laughing as she tumbled.

Hermione rolled her eyes, yet crawled down onto her knees. She quickly did a sad attempt at a "worm motion" then hurried back to her feet. "There, are you happy."

"What kind of worm was that?"

"A worm that feels like a loser when rolling on the ground."

"Ahh, you see theres the problem." Ginny stopped on her back and looked up at her. "You want to be a sophisticated worm. Sorry, dear but there will be no bookworms allowed in the tumbling area. Besides-" she began to move again, "Normal is over-rated!"

Hermione laughed again, but crawled on the ground next to her friend. She sighed and slumped on the ground. Slightly pushing off with her shoulder, she began to do the "worm dance." After about 10 seconds of silent rotating, Hermione began to laugh, which triggered Ginnys giggles. In 5 milliseconds flat, they were at all out worm war, laughing like a bunch of idiots. There fun stopped when someone cleared their throat at her door. Hermione looked up from her back and saw-

"Malfoy, have you ever heard of knocking?"

"Well, Granger, you should really close your door when experimenting with drugs..."

Hermione got to her feet rapidly, fixing her hair then crossing her arms. "How'd you even get in the common room? We changed the password!"

"Hermione Granger... The sexiest bitch around?" Malfoy asked, sending a light glare at her.

"No, actually Malfoy, it was Hermione Granger, the sexiest bitch _ever_." A giggle was heard from Ginny, who's face was covered with her scarlet hair.

"The faries told me what you changed it as... real clever, Granger."

"Thoes bitches!" Hermione mumbled. _They never told me the password when he changed it! Winged whores..._

"I only came up here to tell you that your patrolling starts in 10 minuets." His blonde hair fell over his eyes, giving him a rough, sexy look.

"Well, Malfoy, you have no more buisness in my room, unless you wish for me to shove my foot up your ass, please leave."

"Who told you I was into that?" He sneered as another giggle rose from Ginnys worm form.

"Ginny!" Hermione said sternly, sending her a chilled look.

Ginny got up slowly. "Errr...I think I hear my brother calling me... see you later Hermione." When she was out of Malfoys shot, she pointed to him and gave her a thumbs up sign. "See you later... Malfoy the Magnificent."

A/N: GUYS I AM SO LOST!

Not lost like I need a map, but lost like I have no idea where this story is headed. But, I will do my best to continue the damn thing with plenty of puns.

Pun... what the hell is a pun? Is that like a pug?

God... Pugs are so ugly they are almost cute! They look like they ran head first into a wall... its so adorable.

Well anywho, PLEASE give me your ideas, cause i am all out.

But I sill love you ALL!

(BTW... I watched all the Star Wars films in order...and I am so damn confused! BUT they rock!)

I love Coheed and Cambria! Best band ever...ok not ever...but definitely one of the best!

OHHHHHH GUESS WHAT! I read the reviews for this chapter and someone pointed out that i switched the password from The sexiest bitch around, to the sexiest bitch ever. Good eye and thank you! I re wrote it a bit so there you go!

Tootles pet!

XxX MoOnIe

"It should be bloody illegal for them to continue this nonsense! I swear Snape is out to get me!" Hermione leaned closer to the boiling cauldron in front of her, taking a deep breath of the light green vapors.

"Mione, you already know Snape hates all of us Gryffindors.But he seems to have taken a liking to giving you detention." Harry placed some more silver hairs into the liquid, which created a fine neon dust to form. It had been a week sinse Hermione had to serve detention for missing Potions, and already she had recieved another one.

"How in the name of Merlin can I get in trouble for raising my hand the incorrect way? He's just making up excuses to get me in trouble!"

6

for chapter 6 i want there to be like when guys hit on hermione, goyle and brabbe make them stop, andn that draco is like protectiong her, then ron has to sa somethng stupid about their names like, ur name is crabbe, hahahaha your parents must have hated you!


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: Well Hellllllloooooo (lmao, that's from Seinfeld!) Well, I feel like a complete mud mangled bitch... I am completely horrible at updating! Hmmm, I don't understand why you all read my nonsense anyhow! But I absolutely LOVE LOVE LOVE yalls reviews! One of you asked me what my nationality was, well darling, I am Italian! Sexy isn't it! lmao.

Well, you didn't wait all this time to read about my happy horse shit, so ON WITH THE STORY! lol... horse shit...

**DISCLAIMER: **The characters are J.K.'s, and the blame for the tragic plot rest upon my own shoulders! What a sad, sad story... hmmm...

"It should be bloody illegal for them to continue this nonsense! I swear Snape is out to get me!" Hermione leaned closer to the boiling cauldron in front of her, taking a deep breath of the light green vapors.

"Mione, you already know Snape hates all of us Gryffindors. But he seems to have taken a liking to giving you detention. Better you then me..." Harry placed some more silver hairs into the liquid, which created a fine neon dust to form. It had been a week since Hermione had to serve detention for missing Potions, and already she had received another one.

"How in the name of Merlin can I get detention for raising my hand the incorrect way? He's just making up excuses to get me in trouble! No, Harry, your adding to many hairs." Harry looked at her with a raised eyebrow. "Well, smell it then. It's suppose to resemble a sweet, honey-like aroma. How else would the victims drink it?"

Harry inclined towards the kettle and sniffed, then removed his face. The scent reminded him of Taco Night at the Dursleys... not a very heart-warming memory. "Hermione, there's only one way to get him off your back." They both looked up at Professor Snape as he snarled at Ron's cauldron. "We kill him."

"What?"

"I was just kidding Mione." Hermione looked back at her spell book, a slight smile on her lips. "Unless of course you think we could get away with it. We can plead insane!" Hermione giggled, but shook her head.

"That's quite alright Harry. Killing a teacher would end up on my permanent record."

"Oh yeah... permanent record. Never mind the fact they would...you know...send us to Azkaban."

"Mr. Longbottom! You incompetent fool! If you added anymore acidic tears, you would have burned a hole right through my table! Bring it up here, boy, and show the class how difficult it is to add ONE drop of Guppies tear." Everyone looked up as a very red and very upset Neville stood up. The potion in his cauldron had turned a sickly yellow and was dripping right through the bottom.

"I...I... thought I was suppose to add one drop ev...every time I added a hair..."

"No...No, No NO! If it only says ONE TEAR, you only add ONE TEAR! Who is your partner? Why didn't he stop you?" All eyes were on Nevilles partner, who just happened to be-

"Malfoy told me that I was suppose to add it in like that!" Nevielle looked at his partner, pleading for Draco to admit to the false procedure.

"Mr. Malfoy... did you tell Longbottom to add 7 drops of Guppy tears?" Snape seemed aggravated that he might have to actually punish his favorite student.

Draco sat in his seat and crossed his bare arms over his robe. He looked up at Snape slyly and replied, "Yes, I read it wrong Professor. I apologize for the mistake." Snape grunted, then turned toward the leaking cauldron. He tapped it with his wand and mumbled something, then the dripping object disappeared.

"That will be a detention at 7:00 sharp, Mr. Longbottom."

"But-but..."

"You would do better not to question me and to finish your potion before the end of class." Snape started at him sharply and Neville turned a darker form of red and sat.

"But Professor-"

"What now?" He turned and sent him a cool look, almost inviting him to get another detention.

"I...I don't have my cauldron..."

"Ask your partner for his. Now class... I want your potion turned in in 15 minuets, complete with a summary on what it does to the victim. I suggest you write quickly." He eyed the class, then stalked towards his desk.

"Mistake my ass, Draco made Neville mess up on purpose, the little prat."

"I already understand that, Harry, but we only have a little bit of time to fix this! Ok... add a pinch of that red dust over there and you have to stir until it turns kind of pink. I'll write the summary and you blend." Harry nodded, but mumbled something under his breath. Hermione placed the tip of her quill into the ink, then began to write.

"The Clato Nortese potion gives off a sweet aroma, tempting all who come near it. The trick is to detect the wolf hair, which is mainly used in potions to give a unreal feeling of calmness. Witches in the dark ages used this to trick warlocks into their homes, where they stole any magic necessities like their wands and spell books. Now, the potion is added to a beverage to give the victim a perspective of freedom and serenity. An individual who is under the potions power will talk more freely, become jittery and act like there are no consequences to any of their actions." She placed her name at the top and added Harry's under it.

"Does this look right Hermione?" She looked into the cauldron and, to her pleasant surprise, nodded.

"It looks perfect. Good job Harry!" He beamed at her rare compliment at his work and collected his books. Hermione took out the glass vile (which had Granger and Potter written on it magically in black ink) Snape had passed around and filled it with the off-pink juice. The bell rang just as she placed the vile and their paper on his desk.

Ron asked her something as she peaked at his cauldron. Whatever he and Pansy did, they did it wrong. The goo was an odd version of blue.

"Leave your cauldrons and pick them up Wednesday. You are dismissed, except you Mr.Weasley."

Harry and Hermione looked at their red-headed friend as he shrugged. They walked out the door and waited for him to appear with the students leaving the class.

Draco walked out, accompanied by Crabbe and Goyle and stopped in between Hermione and Harry. He turned and gave Harry a stern smirk, then looked over at Hermione. She raised her eyes to his as Harry watched.

Malfoy looked more rugged today with his tousled hair and his cool composure. His steel eyes dragged hers into them, taking her attention from Potter. _My god he is so...uhhhhh... wait...NO... _

Draco leaned towards her, his lips dangerously close to her ear as she stared at Harry, her eyes wide. She closed them when his hot breath hit her tender ear lobe.

"I'll see you later Granger... we have some...mmmm...un-finished business to attend to." She opened her eyes slowly as he stood up and smirked at her. With a slight wink, and hideous grunts from Crabbe and Goyle, he walked off.

"What...the hell... was that about?"

Hermione bit her lip as they both looked up at a curious Ron. He stood in the doorway, staring blankly at Malfoys back, then he turned his attention to Hermione.

"I... I don't really know."

"What the hell does Malfoy think he's doing, getting all close to your bloody ear...-Hiccup-...People might get the wrong idea."

Harry narrowed his eyes onto Hermiones, as if trying to see something in them that would give him some sort of hint. "Mione, has he... tried anything. We all know what he's been doing all year and-"

"He hasn't done anything Harry. Honestly, you two! He's just trying to annoy you and it looks as if its working." Hermione tilted her head a bit. Merlin, why am I defending Malfoy? And did Ron just hiccup?

"Ron, did you just hiccup?" Harry asked, his eyes away from Hermiones. Ron just giggled a bit.

"Ron, what the bloddy hell is wrong with you?"

"Snape made me test the Clap-o Nortcheesy potion... heehee..."

"Do you mean the Clato Nortese potion, Ron... it isn't suppose to make you this spaced out." Ron didn't answered but stared at his hand with interest, smiling like a loon.

"Great, they drugged him."

"Great, They druffed him...Harry you silly...goose...hahaha..." Ron's face was covered in one giant grin. He tripped on the step and grabbed onto Harry for support, giggling the whole time. People began to turn and look at Ron's blatant drunkenness.

"Did he just call me a goose?" Harry asked, helping Ron stand straight. Hermione pulled him up and replied.

"I guess... c'mon, lets take him into the common room before he does anything stupid." Ron grabbed their arms and flopped onto the floor, dragging his friends down with him. The students surrounding them all laughed at the sight, and it was really quite funny.

"Ronald!" _You big drunk fool! Great, now I probably have dirt on my ass..._

The scene also caught Malfoys eyes...

"Would you look at that, Weasly is trying to nail Potter and Granger... in the middle of a hallway too..." Crabbe and Goyle did their usual grunt, which if translated in 'Porky little bitch-ennese', is "HaHa"

Hermione was about to say something, but Ron stood up first. He staggered stupidly towards the three Slytherins, and pointed his finger right in Malfoys face.

"I never liked you..." He mumbled slowly.

"I'm glad to hear the Weasel, now please remove your finger from my face-"

"No- I will not please remove your finger from my face..." He slurred out, along with a light laugh.

"Ron, just forget about it." Harry offered, standing up too.

"And you-" Ron pointed at Goyle, " you... are very, very rounddddd." While saying the word round, Ron moved as if hula-hooping. The students all chuckled at the dumb dance.

Crabbe grunted, which, if translated into 'I'm a stupid little mother fucker fat-ass- ennese' would stand for "You'll regret that...and I like ice cream."

"Oh don't make me go on to you..._Crabbe_." Ron turned towards to pudgy boy. "_Crabbe_...you're so scary _Crabbe_. Your mom named you Crabbe for merlins sake! Your parents must have hated you!" The student all laughed, then stopped at Draco's cold look.

"You twit, Crabbe is his last name!" Draco spit out. Ron twisted his head to glare at him...

"Ron, lets just go..." Hermione grabbed Ron and glared at Draco. He sent her a slight smile and she walked Ron in the other direction. Harry followed, and along with a few disgruntled giggles, you could hear Ron yelling "Crabbey Wabbey" as they walked.

A/N: Sorry I didn't write a whole, lot, I just haven't had much time to type... so sorry!

Would you like a smoke and a pancake? lmao... how about a cigar and toast?

well, I must go to bed, it is 2:15 in the morning!

So would Chinese people be waking up right now? Poor, poor Asians...

I am truly a crack-head... and you LOVE it! lmao

I luv u all.

Especially the Chinese.

XxX Moonie


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